Sunday, May 14, 2006


My classes ended last week and it was hard to say good-bye to my students, especially those who truly touched my heart. Some of them I will see next year, some I may never see again, but I know that I will always share a small part of their lives. I received Starbucks' gift cards from some of them and treated myself to a 2-pump, white chocolate mocha this a.m.--a decadent change from my normal Americano :)

It's June 1st today, not the first day of summer, but close enough, and it's raining. Where's the justice in that?? The saving grace is that it should stop in time for Saturday's soccer games...yeah, right...I'll believe that when I experience it :)

I'm pondering the continuity of our lives this morning. I drove the car-pool kids this a.m. Two of them are siblings--older sister, younger brother. The brother is ADHD--an extremely bright, eccentric, sweet kid who embarrasses his sister. I watched her be viciously mean to him this a.m. as they left the car, and flashed back to my childhood. I've apologized to my brothers so many times for my childhood behavior, but when I saw the look on this boy's face today, I truly understood how hurtful I was. I'm sure some day these siblings will share a close relationship, just like my brothers and I do, but the hurt lingers, even when you're old enough to understand the cause...

Relationships are always fragile, aren't they? Shared interests, experiences, and genetics bond people, but the bonds are vulnerable due to human nature. So much of who we are develops during our childhoods, when we are most vulnerable to misconstrued perceptions of events. We grow up and learn to view situations more logically, but it's difficult to completely override our childhood selves. Every relationship potentially teeters on the edge of extinction--it takes tremendous inner strength to maintain balance. It also takes tremendous trust, something I find very hard to give...

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