Thursday, February 14, 2008

Angst deficit

I don’t have enough angst in my life. Not that I want more, but lack of it wreaks havoc with my writing. I remember my early 20s--writing was easy. I was in the throes of my dark years, healing a broken heart, searching for the meaning of life. My writing was fraught with conflict, emotion, symbolism. It wasn’t great writing, but it had great feeling.

I have to work hard to tap into those feelings now. Building character conflict and strife requires passion and turmoil. I can’t even rely on PMS for emotional instability--that part of my life is almost over…what a bust.

I truly enjoy my family, my job, my menagerie, and I realized a few years ago that everything I do is my choice. I’m responsible for my actions and reactions—I’m the key to my destiny. I work hard to find solutions rather than wallowing in self pity. These are qualities I’ve strived for my entire life…now I’m wondering why.

It turns out that great writing stems from unrequited passion, rebellion, depression, anger… Satisfaction lessens conflict—what’s a writer to do?

Wish me luck as I search for angst…feel free to give suggestions. Right now I’m going to open the Valentines from my students and enjoy the rare sunshine--what a beautiful day. Do you see my problem???

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