Wednesday, April 23, 2008

My bucket list

The movie Bucket List captured my imagination last night. I was touched by the relationship that brought fulfillment to the characters’ lives, envious of their luxurious, inspiring journey and excited to start my own B. list.

I sharpened my pencil, found a sheet of paper and contemplated my life. The Galapagos came to mind…standing in Darwin’s footsteps. …..After that, I drew a blank. I know what you’re thinking...

"What’s wrong with this woman? If Darwin looked at a few finches, making huge scientific leaps, why can’t she make a simple list?"

Well, the more I thought about things today, the more I realized I’m not in the same place as the movie characters. I’m not searching for the life I lost or thought I wanted, although I’m not sure I knew that until today. To want something different would mean the life I value wouldn't exist.

I’m not estranged from my children, although there’s certainly still time for that :) I don’t feel parenthood cheated me out of my dreams…quite the opposite--it’s the best part of my life.

Ironically, I’m not enjoying my dream job…because I didn’t know I wanted to teach when I was dreaming of jobs. Instead, I stumbled into a job I love.

Two years ago, writing would have been first on my list, but it’s part of my daily life now. I suppose being published should be on the list, but I don’t feel that urgency…maybe I never will. I just love to write…I love words, dictionaries, thesauruses…my writing classes and blog fulfill that part of me.

I thought I wanted to change parts of my past, but realize they make me who I am. I like the person I’ve become...she developed during the twists and turns of my life.

Of course, there are places I’d love to see…sights, sounds, sensations I’d love to experience, but I realize now that they won’t make my life better.

So...I don’t think I need a bucket list…which probably surprises me more than it surprises anyone else…

1 comment:

The Marathon Man said...

The mood I find myself in after reading your blog is always calm and relaxed. I envy the sense of contentment that is apparent in your writing. Damn the scammers; it does make you wonder who falls for these sorts of things.