Reasons I was never voted class clown

1. First visit to principal’s office at age 36, as president of school parent club. I broke into a sweat and felt guilty during the entire meeting.
2. Annoying habit of mentally viewing end results within seconds of contemplating an action.
3. Difficulty interpreting joke punch lines.

Case in point: conversation with A. on the way to school this morning.

A: Wouldn’t it be so cool if everyone set their cell phones at maximum volume, left them in their lockers on the last day of school, and they all rang at the same time?

Me: That would be cool, especially if just the 8th graders did it. Maybe at the end of the day, so you don't disturb classes?

A: We only have a half day that day.

Me: Who would make the calls? Oh wait, the moms could do it! We could set up a phone tree.

Hmmm…maybe other moms wouldn’t agree with that. Plus, if the phones didn’t ring simultaneously, teachers could pinpoint whose lockers were ringing. And, even though they’d probably appreciate the humor from 8th graders, they might worry that younger grades would copy the idea at random. Plus, I work for the school district...I suppose I shouldn’t encourage rule breaking.

You know, Honey, these things always work better in the movies.